Ties that Bind: The Story of "Neyako," a Unique Japanese Tradition
- Mar 30
- 4 min read
By Motomi Nakamura
Local in Toba
As you wander through the island of Toshi-jima, you will notice the "Maruhachi" mark (a circle with the character for 'eight') inscribed on the doorways of many homes. Alongside this visual charm, you will discover another invisible "pillar" that supports the community: the Neyako system, a designated Intangible Folk Cultural Property of Toba City.
A Never-Ending "School Trip": Learning the Way of the World
The Neyako system is a unique tradition where individuals with no biological relation form bonds as deep as those of real parents and siblings. Upon graduating from junior high school, a small group of boys begins sleeping at the home of a "Neyao" (Neya Parent)—a local mentor and caretaker. For about ten years, they share their lives under one roof. The Neyao does more than just provide a room; they teach social etiquette and fishing techniques, serving as a vital support system for the island’s primary industry. From career advice to troubles they can't discuss with their biological parents, the Neyao offers a lifelong safety net.
The term Neya originally referred to the sleeping quarters, and the youths were called Neyako (Neya children). Today, the entire social system itself is referred to as "Neyako."
Typically, five or six youths finish dinner at their own homes before gathering at the Neyao’s house around 8:00 PM. Having known each other since childhood, they spend their nights talking, laughing, and sleeping side-by-side like a nightly school field trip, before returning home each morning. As an island elder, the Neyao listens to their concerns, offers advice, and occasionally scolds them, building a relationship akin to true parenthood. Through shared drinks and daily life, the youths naturally absorb the island’s customs and the art of human connection.
While no written records exist regarding its exact origins, Neyako is believed to be a localized evolution of the Wakashu-yado (youth lodges) once common in Japanese farming and fishing villages. Various theories exist: some say it was established by the warlord Kuki Yoshitaka to quickly mobilize oarsmen for his navy, while others suggest it allowed "Aminoto" (head fishermen) to efficiently gather workers for early morning sea departures. Regardless of its origin, the system was likely well-established by the Edo period. Today, Toshijima’s Toshi district is the only place in Japan where this tradition remains active.
The Commitment and Joy of a Neyao
Yoshiyuki Nishikawa, a neighborhood association president and former Neyao himself, shares the significance and evolution of the system. "When they do something wrong, you have to be the one to scold them," he says. Because these youths spend their formative years at the Neya, the Neyao works alongside the biological parents to provide life guidance and discipline. However, the true depth of the relationship often blossoms after they "graduate." "As their Neyao, I serve as the go-between (nakodo) for their weddings and celebrate their children’s first festivals. There are spiritual and financial responsibilities involved in all of life's milestones, but in return, you gain a bond that lasts a lifetime."
The Changing Shape of "Neyako" in a Modern Era
Nagayuki Hashimoto, head of the Toshi branch of the Toba-Isobe Fisheries Cooperative, grew up under Mr. Nishikawa’s "Maruto Neyako" group. "We recently gathered for Mr. Nishikawa’s retirement celebration," he recalls. "There’s a Japanese saying that 'a neighbor nearby is better than a relative far away,' but this is even deeper. The way we help each other in times of trouble is incredible." The "houbai" (companions) who shared those nights continue their close-knit relationships throughout their lives.
While this was the daily norm until about 30 years ago, the environment surrounding Neyako has changed drastically due to a declining birthrate, fewer people entering the fishing industry, and more students boarding on the mainland for high school and extracurriculars. Consequently, many Neyako now only gather on weekends or during major holidays like New Year’s, Obon, or Golden Week.
However, just as the youths Mr. Nishikawa once mentored are now the 50-year-old leaders supporting the island today, the "spirit of mutual aid" fostered by this system remains alive in every alleyway. After graduating from Neyako, they move into an organization called "Hobai-kai," which forms the bedrock of the island's self-governance, fisheries cooperative, and the Kami-matsuri, the island’s largest festival. As the saying goes, "Neyako is indispensable." Even as its form changes, the people of Toshijima continue to weave the bonds of the next generation.
Go Deeper: In an age where deep human connections are becoming rare, they remain vibrant in the backstreets of Toshijima. During the "Kami-matsuri," the island’s biggest festival, Neyako groups practice and perform plays and shows together. Watching the island’s youth strive to please the local deities is a powerful source of energy for the community—a moment where you can witness the true strength of island solidarity.
